We all know her, she’s our best friend, the girl we dated,
the bitch we talk about, our mom…the independent woman. That girl, is not
as rare as she used to be. She’s got her own house, she got her own
car, two jobs, work hard, she’s a bad broad…what.ever. Not that it’s not
super fun doing what you want all of the time, which they do, but I’m here to
tell you boys, the one thing an independent woman wants…is her freedom taken
away. Boom.
Yes, you read right. Now, quick disclaimer: Do NOT go out
there and find the toughest, baddest bitch and tell her you own her
ass now. It will end poorly and this is not what I’m saying, I know
men don’t always read all the way through so I wanted to put that up front.
What I am saying is…
It’s not a façade…but it does come off tougher than
intended because of social stigmas. These women are usually pretty damn tough,
they aren’t playing it up to make a point or make you feel like you can’t live
up to her standards, because if you feel that way you probably actually can’t.
It’s not that independent women are living and acting the way they do because
they are trying to send you or any other man that message, it’s because it’s a
way of survival. We label women independent, but this is not the 1600’s or even
the 1950’s. Women are not being raised to find a husband and live happily. They
are not being told that they are no one until somebody loves them. They are
being challenged in a world that for many years told them the only place they
belonged is at home, barefoot and pregnant.
So this independent woman idea is
actually just women being who they have been raised to
be. So go ahead now and erase that idea that a woman is “acting”
some way. It’s not an act…as I told a gentleman caller just the other week
after a brief rant about how much he loved that I was “strong
and independent,” but I should just change and be “really nice all of
the time” (yes, he said this, I can’t make this shit up), “this is not an act,
it’s my personality, I’m 27, it’s sticking.” Pretty sure that’s over. Thank
God.
She’s likely got a pretty low threshold for
bullshit, because well, she’s not giving it to you, why give it to
her? She’s heard most of the lines, she’s been through the ups and downs and at
some point, you just stop caring about the games. The awesome thing about being
independent is that, even if you weren’t there, she’d still be doing all the
same things. Yep, that’s right, she’s making a choice to be with you, to talk
to you, to spend time with you. Because honestly, she
doesn’t need a man, she wants one. And that’s the deepest part; by
definition an independent woman doesn’t NEED a man for anything, material. She
doesn’t have to have a serious boyfriend or a long term relationship to
validate her, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want one. What that does mean
is that she won’t jump into one for the wrong reason, and you guys should be
thankful for that and act accordingly.
You’ve got to know who YOU are and what YOU want. Meet
a woman, decide you like her, tell her that day, you want to be with her. And
then actually do it. Promise, if the connection is clearly there, she won’t say
no (I got a boyfriend once in five hours, cross my heart). And honestly, it
doesn’t take women that much longer to know if they want to be with you. Now,
is this necessarily the woman you’ll marry? Who knows, but what I am sure of is
if you know who YOU are and what YOU want and find yourself, like very few
people do, above the games, better than the waiting four days to call, smoother
than the timing of texts and cooler than the debates over when to friend her on
Facebook, you will find yourself in a relationship with a dope ass girl.
Because if she’s got time to play games then she clearly isn’t as independent
as she’d like to claim.
She’s dying to show you just how awesome she really is…no
really. If you think that her life alone is dope, know this: she can most
likely cook, clean and is physically fit, why? Because as a woman on her own,
those are things that she enjoys doing. She doesn’t have to learn them to be
with you, she’s been doing them for herself for years and a woman who is
independent and self-confident won’t have a problem doing all of those things
for a deserving man. Honestly, she wants to do them. She wants
to show someone else besides her homegirls and her momma that she is that
business. Her bosses don’t matter and that personal pat on the back only lasts
for a minute…she wants you to know and she wants to feel the same about you.
What’s the point in being successful if no one tells you
how great it is…all of the time. This goes for both sides. Successful
independent women that are smart about life, are attracted to successful
independent men that know a woman is there to enhance them and not hang of
their left nut looking for hand outs. A man and a woman that complement each
other are always going to be a hotter relationship than one where one party is
getting fed off of like a parasite and hoping things will change one day.
The biggest secret…she likes being told what to do. That’s
right. You heard it here. We make decisions for ourselves day in and day out.
Easy or hard, they have to be made and honestly, it gets exhausting. So to find
a man that makes choices about: date plans, dinner reservations, positions in
bed, you name it, she’s open to it. As long as you back it up…they’re not into
the “all talk” guy, but men who can walk the walk as well. Be about it.
In the end, I know this, because I live this. I’m not gonna
settle. I’m not gonna start re-liking bullshit and nor is that girl you tried
to feed it too last week. So you can call her a bitch, you can complain how she
“acts” like she’s too good for your games, you can even keep trying to play
them, but you’ll likely find that she’s just not that into you…
